Angry Angry Angry

I need three software programs soon or else I think I'm going to bash my head against my monitor and die from a combination of frustration induced heart disease, anger induced cancer, and bleeding from the head from the head bashing.

I need:

• Some sort of Anti-Virus software
• Adobe Photoshop (legal)
• Microsoft Office

Unfortunately, it will cost me about six hundred dollars combined if I include tax. I don't exactly have that type of money lying down. In fact, I'm flat broke from summer shopping/spending, I was planning to save money by surfing the net as entertainment.