Loser

I know I posted only about an hour before, but I think I'm getting addicted to talking about myself. Yes, I'm an attention whore.

I just went on my old xanga account to see what everyone was up to. I haven't been on in ages and my last post must have been half a year ago. Anyways, everyone seemed to be having something to do. People were looking for jobs and getting interviews, out all day hanging out with friends, travelling everywhere with family, etc. And I'm just sitting here in front of my computer whining about my problems here. It feels kind of like I have no life, you know? It feels kind of like everything I want to do this summer just didn't work out and I got left with the second-best option. Instead of getting a job, (which my other 'friend' had promised we would job-hunt together and go to interviews together for moral support. Turned out, she found a job and didn't even tell me she actually found a job, let alone tell me about the job opening or the interview) I'm volunteering. Instead of travelling somewhere, I'm stuck with going to the mall all the time and its getting boring. I always feel there's a little bit of pressure hanging out with my friends that I always have to live up to something. Before you go off labelling me for self-esteem issues, let me tell you that they are the most polite people I have ever met. They always say 'please' and 'thank-you' and when there's a door, they rush to open it, and 'sorry' is the word that seems to be constantly in their vocabulary. They are never late and all are getting almost straight-A's in school. To add to that, their houses are about three times the size of the apartment that I live in. While my family are public transit users owning no cars, they have two cars each. It just feels like I'm not as good as them.

I feel like such a loser.